i was thinking about something yesterday that made me sad.
Beth at work was mentioning how it's her parents 35th (I think) anniversary this year, and how she was thinking about celebrating that for them. Then I mentioned how I really don't feel bad for not making a to-do about my mother's 2 year anniversary this July, especially seeing as how Seth and I really didn't whoop it up for ours (which was more financially motivated than anything) Following that train of thought, I continued about how I sometimes like to calculate which anniversary my parents would reach if they were still married. This year would have been 32 years for them on Dec. 27th.
I know I'm 27 years old and all, and for all intents and purposes all growed up, but I admit that I often wish that my parents were still together, that they would have worked it out. They are such a good match, and were perfectly suited for each other. I try not to wonder, but I can't help but muse about if I would be closer to my dad today, if it would have helped my older brother or my little sister stay out of trouble maybe, if my mom would be plotting her move to Arizona. There's a million things that could be different, I can think of so many improvements to our family today if it were so.
But it's not. And there's no way it would ever happen, and that's life. It makes me feel very young and vulnerable when I think about my parents like this, like I'm 11 and it just happened last summer, but I don't really remember doing it then, either. I should have grown out of this, should have had the reality of the situation set in years and years ago when they were both first remarried. I can't think of any good that it does to daydream this way, or anything terribly bad for that matter; it just makes me kind of sad, that's all.
2 comments:
I can kinda identify. My parents are most likely divorcing in a couple months. You know some of the bad blood between my dad and me, but it's still hard to realize that it's actually going to happen. I mean, I'm an adult, I know this has been a long time coming, but it doesn't make it 100% easy to come to grips with.
I completely identify! I feel the same and often wonder myself what things would've been like. To me it's sort of like a death. Divorce is essentially the death of a relationship that was meant to be lifelong and the death of the family unit that was created. I also have talked with my mother who confessed to me that she sometimes wonders what things would be like now had they stayed together. Just like someone you love who has passed away, I don't think you ever completely get over a divorce...it just gets easier as time goes by~
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