taking it personally

While in peru, I found myself feeling very much like God was dealing with me personally. There's history between Peru and me, and there are things that I felt God was showing and speaking to me with regards to that. I can't say I understand it all or know the end result of anything just yet, but I came away with a really big sense that it was quite an important event.

Part of what I felt God was showing me was that he cared very much for things that are on my heart. From something as simple as Daniel bringing over fried yucca (which I was so looking forward to, but was never served in our house) to some things that Pastor Arturo shared with me, I couldn't get away from feeling that God had interacted with me directly, in some ways more than I had ever felt before.

It's hard to explain this, because I've obviously seen God work in my life many times, seen his fingerprints on different areas, especially being able to look back and pinpoint what he was doing to lead me a certain way, etc. But this was different. Maybe it was my own attitude. I had been praying before we left that as a team we would be obedient to God's guiding and follow with boldness and without fear. The very first night we were there we went to a church service where Pastor Arturo spoke about Abraham, and how important it is to obey without reservation and go, even when we don't know where God is leading us. Then it was a theme that Pastor brought up throughout the rest of the week. He takes a lot from Abraham's life, and it shows. They go where God sends them, with or without money, maybe without the most firm plans in place, but they go. And God provides for them. So I was listening to this, and sort of laughing internally about God's sense of humor and how he will bring things up over and over again as an answer to prayer, or something that he wants you to focus on.

Ok, obedience.

I don't know when I stopped chuckling inside and really paid attention. It could have been after Miguel asked me to give the last lesson for VBS on Thursday night. And was sure that I could do it in spanish since I spoke so well. And then told me that he wanted me to share the Gospel that night too at the end of the lesson, making sure that it was aimed both at the kids and their parents.

GULP.

I didn't so much chuckle at how God answered that prayer, it was more of an inward scowl at him. But I had prayed for it, so I might as well go along with it. 24 or so people prayed to receive Christ for the first time that night. I know it wasn't me, because the first couple times I invited people to pray, no one responded. Miguel talked them through it and had me still lead everyone in prayer, but it definitely wasn't because of anything I did. And now the church will follow up with them and visit them and hopefully help them begin to walk with God.

And so, maybe for this reason, maybe for another, it's more personal to me now. Jesus is more personal and close than he has been in awhile, maybe ever. And tho it's not showing up in every area, I'm trying to let that sink in and affect other parts of my life. I want to learn more of his word so that it's easier to remember and obey. I want to know what God's will is for my life, not just assume that it's some generic "good life". I want to have the Gospel written on my heart so that anytime an opportunity presents itself that I can share. Usually big "Mountaintop Experiences" have a way of fading over time. I'm thinking this might actually be something that sticks, at least that's what I'm praying for.