what am i doing?!!?

I did it. I wrote a check for $75 and signed up to run a marathon.

what??

Even before I signed up I realized that I will be running probably hundreds of miles in the next few months, some of them really long distances in one shot. And yet I still decided to do it.
Kathy seems to think I can. Seth seems to think I can. I seem to think they're right. I guess we'll all find out on December 9.

Earlier this week I was trying to decide what my motivation would be. Raising money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma society is very important, and I think by the end of it all I will really gain an appreciation and greater compassion for all the people who suffer from all the different types of blood cancer. Kathy originally talked me into the idea with the promise that running this much burns a crapload of calories, and you're guaranteed to lose weight. I still don't know that either of those will be enough. That's mostly because I know that I'm inherently unmotivated and no matter how good something might be for me and how exciting, I'm kind of lazy at the end of the day and prefer leisure to hard work (it fits right in to my profile, right?).

I ended up deciding that if I really go through with it and do all the training work and do a good job running the marathon, the only reason that it will possibly be is God. All the Bible verses that I've been trying to memorize or meditate on have been about Him working through me. If I really believe them, this is a piece of cake. My friends and family can encourage me to no end, but if I don't make the final decision to put the effort in, then I'll fail. I don't trust myself to make that decision, but I know that I can with God's help.

I guess to me this all sounds sort of cheesy, but I think this is going to be something of a defining effort and it could be something that will force me to trust God with parts of my life that I haven't let Him have full control of yet. I'm super scared, but kinda pumped about it too, I guess.