parenting quandary

so my friend posted this article on facebook tonight, and as someone who has found great success with the Babywise method for getting your kids to sleep through the night very early on, I was a little concerned as I read it. Especially when it also referred to this other article which references lots of research which seems to show that letting your child cry will inflict irreparable psychological damage on them.

It's not like I've ever left my kids for hours on end while they screamed at the top of their lungs for comfort. I think between the two of them I have let them "cry it out" less than 10 times total, only at nap/bedtime, never for more than about 15-20 minutes without checking on and comforting them, and they've never cried longer than 45 minutes total before falling asleep. Both were sleeping 7-8hrs/night by the time they were 8wks old, and we've never had a problem since. They both seem to be handling stressful situations well these days, and I'm not anticipating any negative outcomes in the future based on actions taken when they were newborns.

I'll admit, the articles freaked me out a little bit as I started reading them, I got anxious at the beginning of each of them - obviously, if science says it's bad, then what if I'm messing up my kids, even if it works? Or what happens if we end up having a baby one day who isn't so easy going about sleep? But then I calmed down, read each article slowly, thoughtfully, and came to the following conclusions:

1. Even with science to back you up - the frequency with which parenting recommendations and practices change is ridiculous; just like in dieting/nutrition or any other arena that involves a propensity towards strong opinions and fads.

2. One of the scholars that the Yahoo! article quotes from frequently seems inherently biased in the matter, considering that she herself "shows signs of undercare". I read her quotes with a pretty negative air toward the idea of letting children cry in general, even before she provided her personal background. Also, I don't know much about Dr. Sears, but by a quick look through his website, he would seem to be a big proponent of Attachment Parenting, which is often portrayed as the antithesis of Babywise or "cry it out"

3. Neither article clearly defines what is considered "too long" for a child to cry. "Excessive crying" is mentioned excessively, but there is not a single attempt at saying what is excessive. There are frequent references to "crying it out" in the Yahoo! article, but the Ask Dr. Sears article sounds like it's referring more to neglectful treatment of a child, leaving him/her alone for hours on end or ignoring any expressed needs to the point of cruelty, which is most definitely not suggested by adherents of "cry it out" or Babywise. This article did conclude "that caregivers should answer cries swiftly, consistently, and comprehensively," which sounds like crying it out would not be an option, but that doesn't actually go against Babywise philosophy; of COURSE you're supposed to check on your kids if they're crying. Make sure they don't need a diaper, or some food, or are in pain in some way, but if they're ok, then they're ok to be left to themselves for a little bit.

So I think my final analysis is this: I'll stick with what I know and what has worked, but I'm not above altering it or trying something new if what has worked stops working. I'm curious, tho, what other parents think. If you have time to read the articles and comment, I would really appreciate it.