updates

because it's been a whole month since I mentioned anything about my girls, here's the update:

Naomi is still smiley and sweet and likes to play with toys she can grab. She just had her 4 month appointment and is doing great, except for sharing her sister's propensity towards ear infections. Boo. She's got the ok to start on the solid foods, but I don't know if I'm quite ready for that yet.

Josephine got lots of fun things for Christmas that she *loves* to play with - fake food, and a cart to wheel it all around in, a non-name brand MagnaDoodle (just don't know what else to call it), a backpack that she likes to carry around but doesn't think about unless we give it to her, a Leapfrog laptop that says her name, sings her songs, and sends her emails, and a Winnie the Pooh doll that's almost the size of her. I started to understand this year about how parents can easily go overboard buying gifts for their kids. It's so much fun to see her play, and there are a lot of things that I know she would really enjoy or would help her learn things. Every time we go to Target now, I easily find things I would like to buy for her. This is actually a heart (and wallet) check for me, since the last time we went to Target we came home with 2 new things for Jo that she didn't actually need, but REALLY likes. Bubble bath that she is pretty crazy about, and a CD set that includes songs from The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh, and also a story. We've listened to it upwards of a dozen times in the last couple of days (including right now!)

Also in Jo news, she is enjoying music in general more than ever, she'll even sing along for bits that she knows for songs like Twinkle Twinkle and her ABCs. She is also getting pretty good at counting to 3 and starting to identify her colors. We are talking just a little bit about using the potty and possible toilet training. She's interested, but I'm pretty sure we're not quite there yet. I've been kind of hoping she'd be ready by her birthday, but I'm learning it's really ok to wait.

Finally, we have new words just about every day. Last I heard, between 18-24 months kids will pick up about 10 words a day - how's that for a reminder to watch what you say around them? Latest ones include "Jesus" and "Zombies". The former is from listening to our Pandora station of Christian music for kids, and the latter is from Seth and my affinity for our Plants vs Zombies game, which Josephine loves to watch. It used to be that any time she got near the laptop we would hear "pooh" as her request to watch the Winnie the Pooh movie, now Pooh has to share time with "zombies" when she thinks it's time for someone to play. Still not sure if it's funny and cute that she knows about zombies, or it's a frightening look into how mom and dad are spending their time these days...

Anyway, that's all. As soon as I get around to putting pictures from Christmas and later on the computer, I'll post some here.

slow down

I've been trying to listen to more messages during the day, from Faithwalkers, from the Rock, whatever, just to keep my head in the Bible and encouraged during the day. One set of messages is from a Motherhood conference that Kathleen Nelson has done a few times. She mentions one thing in particular more than once, and it's stuck in my head, and made a big difference in how situations get handled around our house. I have been meaning to post about this for awhile, so if I'm not exact in my recollection of the messages, I do apologize. She mentions that if her kids are having trouble or if she's getting frustrated at them, that is her cue to "slow the machine down" and work with her kids on whatever the issue is.

This is priceless advice when dealing with a 22 month old little girl. There are plenty of things that she knows how to do, but there have been times when I can overestimate her ability to comprehend what I'm asking or even her ability just to accomplish a task. Then there's her 22 month old attention span, which isn't impressive in the least. There's also plenty of times when I'm busy trying to do something myself and I need to slow down to make sure that I'm paying attention to what's going on in general.

A lot of times, just by either going to her or calling her to my side, getting down to her level and making sure she looks in my eyes, and talking to her slowly in words I know she knows, I've seen a big difference in how she complies. For bigger tasks I usually have to continue slowly and patiently to remind and prompt her to be able to complete what I've asked (putting away toys or books usually take more time than I'd like, it's very tempting to just finish the job for her). It's nonetheless encouraging to see the change. It's especially helpful in public when training/discipline isn't an option. Just slowing things down usually results in obedience in those situations, even if it has to be repeated often at times.

yikes...

It's been almost a year since I posted here. Good thing I only have 3 followers. I've been contemplating for weeks if I want to continue blogging, having kids at the particular ages that they are doesn't exactly allow much time for deep thinking, much less transmitting those thoughts anywhere, which was the original idea behind this blog. I actually have been thinking deeply about parenthood these days, which sparked my thoughts on blogging, but again; no time. Also, discussing these things with my husband as it relates to our family trumps posting for people who may or may not check and/or care to know what I'm thinking.

Today I happen to find myself sitting on the couch with a 10-week old baby on my chest, which is keeping me from my original project that I was planning for naptime (yes, I could move her, but I don't get to do this often, and I know it won't be available to me for that much longer). So I was thinking for now, that this would become one of those family update blogs. That way I could sell it to the grandparents and others as a way to keep up on the girls and also maybe stay in practice just in case I have a chance to think and post on something a little more serious. Also, I get to brag on my babies, of whom I am extremely fond.

So I'll start with the biggest news of the last 10 1/2 weeks:

Naomi Linda Rosenzweig was born on September 10, 2010 at 6:32am. She weighed 7lbs, 15oz and was 20 in. long. After having contractions on and off for a couple days that got progressively stronger, labor finally started shortly before 4am on the 10th. I endured them on my own for about 1/2 hour before waking Seth up to start getting ready to go to the hospital. By the time we got Josephine dropped off and got to the hospital, I could barely stand the pain. I remember looking at the clock when I was all checked in and they were starting IVs, and it was just about 6am. My doctor was on the way and I was already dilated to about 8 or 9. I was really hoping for pain meds, but we never quite got that far. My doc walked in the door as I was getting ready to push, and it couldn't have been more than 10 minutes and I think 3 pushes later that Naomi was born. We expected her to come quicker than Josephine did, but we were thinking it would be a little longer than 2 1/2 hours! I think this means that next time I'm going to the hospital as soon as labor starts.

Since then, life got way busier. My mom and father in-law visited for a week to help out, and it was wonderful. I threatened my mom that I was going to lock her in the basement so she couldn't go home; I think she would have been ok with it. Josephine loves her baby sister, which is amazing nd fabulous, the only thing I worry about is her smothering the baby with kisses. Literally, it's almost happened.

Both girls are great. Jo is just shy of 20 months old, and smarter than I am sometimes comfortable with; she's picking up words and abilities right and left. Naomi is sweet and smiley and as of this week has started sleeping about 10-13hrs at night, which only increases her preciousness. She loves her big sister and is usually most smiley when Jo is waving her hands at her or trying to poke her in the face. There are stories to tell daily and pictures quite often, let's see if I can keep up with this, along with the craziness that is often our daily life...

No promises

I can't promise that I'll do very well with this, but I'd like to at least try. There's been some serious stuff going on in my life and I was thinking this weekend that it might be a good thing to blog about, for a couple reasons. Several people know about it, and this would be an easy way to alert these several people to what's going on so that they don't all have to come ask (not that I mind anyone asking, because I don't...anymore) but I know that some people don't want to ask for whatever reason, this makes that easier as well. And then I hope that through sharing my struggles other people might find encouragement as well. I wouldn't be where I am without the help and encouragement of others, so maybe I can help someone else too. So yeah. This used to be a closely kept secret, but God's really worked on my heart, and maybe he'll continue using it as I continue being open...

For about a year and a half, Seth and I have been trying to conceive. It's obviously been unsuccessful, as anyone can tell by my lack of gushing posts about how cute our baby is and how much he or she poops. We've been working with doctors since November, and have just gone through a 2nd round of Intrauterine Inseminations (IUIs).

Oh boy. So many reasons not to tell anyone. Not because we/I was ashamed that we were having trouble in this area, but I didn't really want to call attention to myself/ourselves, didn't want anyone's pity, didn't want people constantly asking how things are going (that's not really true, but I only really wanted certain people asking, and those are the only people I told at first, for that very reason). So in various methods, God slowly and gently revealed to me that it actually is a good thing to let people in and share with them. It helps me because now I've got more support than just my husband, it helps the people we tell if they want to know how to pray for us. It helps me be accountable to how I'm dealing with everything and where I'm allowing my heart and head to run off to, and it helps to hopefully encourage other people who are struggling either in this area or another where trusting God is amazingly difficult at times.

Ok, the summary: we've been through lots of tests and basically know what's going on. We have a good idea of why we haven't gotted pregnant yet, hence the IUIs. This boosts our chances of getting pregnant, but not hugely. So there's been a lot of waiting and some stress and anxiety. Back in March we tried for the first time with the IUI, and for the 2wks afterward, until I got my period, I was an utter wreck. Those who know me well know that I am about as easy going as they come, but I was so full of anxiety and fear, and hope, but mostly anxiety. The cool thing is right about the time that this started, I was following in the One Year Bible, and about every day for a week I would find a verse in the Psalms that spoke directly to me about this. So I read those over and over and prayed them over and over and still stressed out and worried.

I came to wonder how I could glorify God when I was such a mess? I went through about a second of trying to figure out why God wouldn't want us to be parents, and realized as soon as I wondered it that it was a ridiculous question. The world would be an entirely different place if only the deserving were allowed to conceive. And then I wondered why not now? We've paid down as much debt as we can for now, we could live off of Seth's income, I've come down a long road of being a little wishy-washy about wanting to have kids "now" to really really wanting kids right now, it just all seemed to line up. And yet...no babies.

I still don't know why not now. My best guess is that He's still working on something in my heart (I can only speak for myself here). I've learned so much, especially over the last 4-5 months of how I trust God conditionally, when the outlook is favorable, when I think I'm getting my way, then it must be God. But when things aren't going the way I want them too, then I just kind of fall apart. So I've been surrendering. Everything. A lot. About every few minutes, over the last few days. Whenever I notice myself daydreaming about telling my husband or our small group, or when I would have to start shopping for maternity clothes. And just in the last day or so I've had to think about being too pessimistic, because that's not really trusting God either, if I just assume that it's not going to work.

I woke up this morning with this song in my head, and I'm just going to hold onto it as long as I can because this is where I'm at. I need a reminder that no matter what happens, He is faithful. Maybe not to my plans, maybe not to my desires, but to Himself and to what's best for me:

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not;
As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be.

Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

Summer and winter and springtime and harvest,
Sun, moon and stars in their courses above
Join with all nature in manifold witness
To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.

Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!

Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

no post today

There will be nothing interesting to post today, I'm taking my lunch break to create a menu and grocery list because our fridge is about bare.

Any suggestions on what I should make for dinner over the next couple weeks?

housekeeping 101

Just a tip: if you decide that you need to dust the top of your tater top casserole with cayenne pepper just after you put it into the 450 degree oven; you might want to take it out of the oven first. That way, when the heat drafts into your face, it won't carry the cayenne pepper with it and throw it into your eyes, making them sting and burn.

I amaze myself sometimes with my brainpower...