disillusionment, part 2

for some reason recently, i decided to create a myspace.com account. I think it was mostly because I was looking for band info and music and such, the free membership seemed harmless, and I sorta got sucked in. I thought it was cool, found some old college friends that I reconnected with, blah blah blah. There were groups of fellow ORU alums, one in particular being those that were left a little jaded from their college experience. Well, that was definitely me, so I wanted to be a part of that group! I was looking through some of the posts and messages from that group, and I was pretty sorely disappointed, I must say. In general, there was disregard and ridicule of the school's administration (can't say much about that, it was something I participated in even while attending), but there was just not a lot that distinguished these people as anyone who was trying to follow Christ any more than the general populace.

There was one post about the GBLT side of ORU, a discussion about why people were there and who they were. There were theories about those that went there as a last resort, trying to "heal" themselves of the problem, or just to simply hide in the same-sex dorms and rules that worked to separate the guys from the girls. That didn't bother me as much as the attitude that it wasn't a big deal, that those who chose that lifestyle were proud of it, not feeling that they need to reconcile anything with their faith in God. Without trying to come off as terribly judgemental, I guess I just expected more. That if you were taught and shown in the Bible that something was wrong, and you say you believe in Christ and his teachings, that it would make a difference in your life.

I think that goes with other things too - I know there was a LOT of crap that happened while I was at school, people having sex and drinking and stuff that was against the rules. A lot of people knew it, they became those that were jaded by their experience at school, the hypocrisy that they saw in the administration, the unfairness of some of the rules and expectations, the general overbearing attitude - "we're going to add more rules because we have high expectations, and we don't trust you to behave yourselves without our help". There were all the healing services and Revival chapels and jargon, the prosperity gospel and disparity between the NCAA div. 1 athletes and the rest of the students. I hated it, especially my senior year, I was itching to put as much distance as possible between me and Richard Roberts. But I was also glad to have gone through it all. I came out looking for God on my own, and finding him. I wanted to know what I believed, not what Richard and Lindsay Roberts believed, not the history of Oral and his crusades or his school "forged in the fires of the healing ministry". If I had gone to a state school or somewhere else in general, I don't know that I would still be following God today. So yeah, there was a reason that I never wanted to date an ORU boy, and there was a reason that I promised myself that I would never give money to the school or be involved in Alumni anything, but I know why I went there, and I thank God that I did, because it was an integral part in making me who I am today.

So was I the only one? The only one that came out of there stronger in my faith than when I went in? The only one who was disgusted by what I saw and some of the "Christianity" that was portrayed but didn't turn away from my beliefs? That's what I wonder, I guess. Hopefully not, but from what I've seen, I'm not exceedingly optimistic.