starting to process

After posting yesterday I drove home and insisted to God that I needed to figure some of these things out. Why do I feel this way? Why do I only get angry thinking of what happened, and the majority of the responses I've been hearing? And I might have an idea.

Obviously listening to MPR gives me lots of information during the day. They have had people on since Monday talking about what happened at Virginia Tech. They've had senators and congressmen, college students commenting, lots of things I haven't really paid much attention to. They've discussed why tighter gun control is needed, there have been suggestions of some sort of mental health screening as part of applying to colleges. They've asked the question of if people can be forced into treatment or some action can be taken if no crime has been committed. They've talked about how to make students safer on campus.

All the suggestions they offer just sound ridiculous. It doesn't matter how tight you make gun control if someone is bent on getting a gun. They're going to be able to, it just might take them a little longer. I don't know if it would ever get to the point that a college would actually require a mental health screening as part of the admission process, but I'm wondering how many people would choose not to apply to that school. If we're starting to treat elementary school kids for depression, how do you think that would affect their ability to get into college later on? Not all people who struggle with depression or even more serious forms of mental illness are dangerous. You can't exactly treat them all the same way for the minute possibility that you could find the one in a hundred thousand who could possibly turn out to be a homicidal psychopath. And the idea of forcing treatment on someone who shows signs of being a danger to themselves or others would seem to be a wonderful plan, but I know firsthand that people who don't want to be helped won't be helped, no matter what.

No one on the news or the radio seems to be addressing the real problem. You know, the one where people are sick inside. They're evil. It doesn't matter how many scenarios you can plan for and make sure you are secure against, given enough time someone will think up something you haven't planned for, and you're right back where you started. There's no limit to how depraved humans can be, but no one really wants to talk about it. Then we'd have to admit that we're all guilty, that we all have the same potential. Then there's really no way out, except for Jesus, and we all know that's not something that will be broadcast nationwide on the 6 o'clock news or on CNN.

I appreciated reading Jamie's blog today, and Adam's, and Christine's from earlier this week. I know eventually it all leads back to God, it all leads back to him moving to make something good come from something so ugly and gross. But I appreciate just being able to sit and think about it, not plan to avoid it next time, not turn it into an anecdote that will support someone's political platform, but to just let it sink in, and roll around in my head for a little while.

It frustrates me that on a large scale that this will just be treated like a problem meant to be solved. If we work hard enough it doesn't ever have to happen again, and we can make it happen and claim all the credit. I don't know even know if these people with their solutions even think that they'll work, or if they're just throwing out ideas and words to make themselves feel or look better. I am glad tho, that I know the truth, that I can look for God to move and see him there, that I can let him continue to change my life, and hopefully share that with the people around me.